Saturday 18th October 2014
IFA Scottish Cup v Real Maroon at Toryglen Football Centre
2-2 (1-1)
QP won 5-4 on penalties


David Stewart; Ally McNaught (c), Allan Mackenzie (John Crosbie) (Robert Shimmons), Allan Lennox, Alan Galindo; Gary Duncan, Craig McKenna, Sean Connolly (David Blair); Raymond Ford, Scott Macrae, Derek Muir


Our first foray into a “proper” cup competition since the IFA Challenge Cup in 2008 against Geordie Munrovers (Raith). We lost 5-1 that day and were well in the game until Crossers got injured then we collapsed in a defensive heap.


Grandpa was on the bench this time around as Real Maroon (Hearts) were the visitors to Toryglen for our Scottish Cup tie.



A shambolic start to the day as Hearts forgot their strips and we kicked off so late that Boab Shimmons actually took part in the warm up.


It was going to have to be a seventy minute game and we had the strong wind behind us in the first half.


Forty five minutes after the scheduled kick off the game began and Hearts kicked off. They played the ball into their defence then back to the keeper who fluffed a clearance straight to Sebo who rolled the ball into the net from 20 yards to give us a dream start.


Hearts were slow to start and Ally, playing out his skin since he became stand in skipper, pounced on a clearance from a corner to strike a rasping shot which the keeper turned round the post.


Maroon came into the game and put on some pressure but we still looked more likely to score and Del saw a free kick tipped round the post as the minutes ticked away in the first half.


Just before the break Real put more pressure on and from a corner a towering header brought them an equaliser.


A close fought shortened half and a quick turnaround saw Crossers on for Wee Al. LHD, on the bench at his request as he was “tired”, was woken from his slumbers and he replaced Sean.


 Crossers immediately got in the action with a couple of fouls and naturally injured himself so he came off to be replaced by Boab.


The game was becoming a bit tetchy with far too many fouls in the game and the windy conditions weren’t helping the mood.


The wind helped us though as we went ahead with about five minutes remaining as Gee launched a free kick into the wind from just inside the Hearts half. The Maroon keeper misjudged the flight of the ball and it looped over him despite his desperate attempts to keep the ball out the net.


Hearts threw everything at us in the remaining minutes and were back level two minutes later as a high ball into the middle of our area was headed over David into the net.


David then picked up an injury and Gee replaced him in goals with Sean coming back on. Craig went to centre half with only seconds remaining.


Late corners and a free kick for Hearts were defended as the support staff on the sidelines watched through their fingers.


Finally Jim the Ref blew the final whistle and penalties would decide the tie.


Hearts went first and scored their first four efforts as did Del, Sebo, Lenny and Ray (just) before Gee saved Hearts fifth penalty. Amidst tension that only a very sharp knife could cut through Craig stepped up to send the keeper the wrong way and put us into the next round of the Cup.


Despite a plea from the President over the tannoy (“well………eh……..keep aff the pitch………….eh………whit….”) the Diet Lilt Firm spilled onto the pitch and the local mounted police had to be dispatched to allow the players to celebrate properly.



Even club mascot Satan sneaked on but has been severely censured by having his Dreamies privileges removed after a stern letter of rebuke from the President.


A very hard fought and well deserved victory and there was a glow of satisfaction amongst the team as they basked in the glory in the JB McAlpine afterwards whilst watching the live updates on the telly of the top games from the Serbian Premier League.


So we march forward into the next round of the Scottish Cup and who do we play next ? Haven’t a clue.


A big thanks to Jim the Ref for his understanding about the late kick off although we had a ready made replacement if he had to leave early. The Great Marzinho had turned up dressed from head to toe in a lime green referee’s outfit (including boots) just in case he was needed. He wasn’t.


Oh, of course the question of everyone’s lips is, “who was lined up to take the penalties if it went to sudden death ?”


Well, I can exclusively reveal that the list, in a particular order, was:-


Ally McNaught (c), Alan Galindo, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Connelly, Sean Connolly, Benedict Cumberbund, Peter Capaldi, Christopher Biggins, Graham Norton, Lionel Blair, David Blair, Vernon Kay, Verne Troyer, Ronnie Corbett, Warwick Davis, PJ & Duncan, Gary Duncan, Dame Vera Lynn, Dame Maggie Smith, Dame Judi “Denchy” Dench, Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson, Sir Bruce Forsyth, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Ian McKellen, Sir Roger Moore, Prof Stevie Hawking and Robert Shimmons.







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