Game 641  31/01/10  One For The Road League

v Appin at Holyrood Sports Centre  1-7 (0-3)

Martin Kelly, David McLean, Allan MacKenzie, John Crosbie, Stuart Waugh, Ally McNaught, Calum MacDonald, Danny McFarlane (Fraser Marr), Paul Joyce (c), Andy McNaught jnr (David Blair) and Adam Walker

Scorer: Joyce


Appin were the visitors to Holyrood after a very difficult week at QPSFC. A court injunction had been lifted to reveal allegations about Club President, Lord Drennan of Crosshill, and Chief Scout, Raph "The Taff" O'Keeffe, and the whole story of what really happened at the weekend of the Ian Younger Sixes was about to become common knowledge. Details were sketchy but the whole sordid affair was going to be published in full in this week's People's Friend. President Drennan was shocked and stunned and, at a packed press conference, could only say, "". 

Despite the off field antics of the club elite, the mood in the camp was positive following the defeat at the hands of Kaisayr the previous week, it was a marked improvement on performances prior to Christmas and Manager Iain Campbell was hopeful of a similar days work against Appin. The esteemed “Mr C” lined the team up in his favoured 4-4-2 formation, Safehands Kelly was in goals behind a back four of Barman Dave, Calum Mac, Martin's special friend John “Crossers” Crosbie and Wee Al. The midfield of Ally McNaught, Stuart, Casper McFarlane and Adam (making his first start) resembled an anorexics convention while the forward line of Andyboy and top scorer Psycho Joyce was probably double the weight. Everyone's favourite sub Fraser “Marrzo” Marr was on the bench alongside EK's finest son, Long Haired Dave.  

Appin were the better side from the off and Kelly was forced into action early on as he tipped over (!!!) a long range shot. Wee Al was forced to clear off the line from the resulting corner as Queen's felt the early pressure. Queen's got in behind Appin soon after, good work by Paul and Ally allowed Andyboy to run up the right, but he shanked his cross out of the park as Adam waited in the middle. Queen's were failing to impose themselves on the game in midfield and Appin took the lead they deserved midway through the half. A corner from the left was missed by Kelly, and nodded over the line at the back post. Kelly pushed over another long range drive five minutes later but some more shoddy defending from the corner allowed Appin to make it 2-0 with a carbon copy of a goal.  

Once in the Appin half Queen's did look capable of being a threat, not enough time was spent in this position however and while the wing play of Adam Walker looked promising it wasn't given the time to flourish. Appin soon found a third goal just before half time, and surprise, surprise it came from a corner kick (from the left). The ball was swung in at the back post and poor marking allowed Appin's number 8 to poke the ball over the line from a yard and secure his hat trick.   

Boss Campbell was a frustrated figure at half time and after he made Danny McFarlane cry with some scathing remarks about his £100 school cardigan, he made a couple of changes. Andyboy came off to be replaced with the one man less fit than himself, Long Haired Dave, While Fraser “The Joker” Marr came on for Casper in midfield. Marr's technical prowess as a wide player forced the “C Man” to rejig his entire system! Ally and his ridiculous facial hair was moved into the middle while Marrzo was allowed to work his magic on the right.

The second half took a while to come to life, but Marrzo livened things up by falling on ice and hurting himself. Even the disgraced Raph The Taff could have a chuckle at that. Long Haired Dave was showing some promise up top and he played in Adam one on one with the Appin keeper. His shot was tame however and it was beaten away for a corner. Ally's delivery caused problems in the Appin box but Stuart Waugh somehow failed to connect with the ball at the near post and the chance was gone.

Appin soon made it 4-0 after a mistake from Kelly forced McLean to handle in the box as Appin queued up to score. The resulting penalty was a good one and Martin had no chance. Queen's began to press after this and a couple of close things followed as we searched for a goal, this left gaps at the back however and a sweeping counter attacking move ended with the ball being tapped home from six yards, for Appin's fifth goal. Number six followed soon after, straight from kick off in fact.

Long Haired Dave lost the ball in the centre circle and Appin cut through the Queen's team at will. Their short passing caused major problems and they finished from close range. 6-0. Queen's did get the goal they perhaps deserved to round off the scoring, with five minutes left. Marr's long free kick was brilliantly controlled by Paul and after turning the defender he fired a 25 yard rocket past the keeper and into the net. It wasn't quite as good as Long Haired Dave's famous goal against Calders, but it was alright in its own way.  

Queen's were rocked like a Haitian shanty town at full time at the claims that ever present goalkeeper Martin Kelly may miss next week's match with a staved finger! Rumours that the rest of the team, including gay lover Crossers, celebrated by drinking champagne in the Social Club until 6am, are thought to be untrue.


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