12pm – QUEEN’S PARK v ORMOND SAINTS
1pm – QUEEN’S PARK v COASTERS
2pm – COASTERS v ORMOND SAINTS
The games will last fifty minutes (25 minutes each way) and all normal football rules will apply.
Three points for a win and one for a draw and if it is a tie on points after the three games are played then the following will decide the winner:-
Most goals scored
Head to head
If it is still a tie after the above then five penalties will be taken by each side to decide the winner
Hospitality takes place in THE LANGSIDE BAR,
Pre-tournament entertainment supplied by the Al Jolson Singers.
COASTERS BAR, OBAN
Undoubtedly the finest pub team to come out of Oban since Old Molly’s Shack on the pier closed down fifteen years ago.
They are led by the amiable John “Scotty” Scott who in the 90’s earned the status of Legend at QP (a name everybody got in those days regardless of ability ie Shep).
Scotty, of course, will always be remembered for his ability to spot talent when he was at
His five were Colin and Justin who became internationally renowned superstars for no particular reason; wee Jinky McGinty whose torso was found in the River Kelvin, later described by the police as, “an accidental death”; Senga McGlumpher who reached the dizzy heights of Miss Drumchapel 1995 and later became the face of local butchers Chevals disappointing ad campaign “Think Tripe”.
The fifth person to watch was our very own third rate “goalkeeper” Dougie Lyden who Scotty discovered playing for local team “The Pertick Pansies”. During a major goalkeeping crisis, and I’m talking pure major obviously, Scotty brought along Dougie to fill the goals proceeding what became known as “a very barren spell”. A modest man, Scotty doesn’t like to talk about his role in orchestrating the (Flying) coup to get Dougie in the team but we’ll never ever forget.
So what sort of team will Scotty bring with him to the JDC ? It should be along the usual lines with some of their veteran players coming along for the day trip, and the pizza and chips afterwards.
They will include Scotty’s protégé Gav who is the only man to give a linesman (assistant referee) RSI by being offside 54 times in a game. Oban’s top property developer, and multi millionaire, Alisdair Nicky should also be in the squad if time allows. Rona Martin lookalike Big Bertie is a mainstay of the defence and he may well have another veteran, Maccy alongside him at the back. It is a little known fact that Maccy once scored the winner in an Ian Younger Sixes Final (apologies if I’ve got that wrong, in fact I’ve a funny feeling it might have been Mugsi).
The ageless Malcolm will probably show off his silky skills in the middle of the park alongside Roddy who some people think has prematurely gone bald but he’s actually 49. The multi talented Keith Miller will be alongside them and the rumour that he is a Scottish Amateur International is true.
Apparently they are having trouble finding a driver/goalkeeper to take them to the big city but I’m sure some Mug(si) will volunteer.
Coasters will also have the usual waifs and strays appearing for the football, and the day out, and of course there will be the two guys who we’ve never seen before but will be introduced as, “you remember Dochy ? This is his next door neighbour’s sister’s man Lachie (or could be Hamish) who just happens to play for Oban Saints along with Hamish (or could be Lachie). They don’t play much and just came down for the day and might get a game.” Aye right…………
Another pub team, this time from the fair City of
Today is a special day as they won’t be led by their legendary manager Gav Stewart, who is known as Mister Perth but only when he’s talking about himself. Gav has decided to stand down from picking the team but will still organise games and pitches etc. [did QP not does this recently ?]
It has often been said that without Gav there wouldn’t be an Ormond Saints team which would be a shame but we’d just have invited Registrars instead.
Anyway, Club Captain Andy Muir has taken over the role of Manager and only an idiot would try and second guess his squad for Sunday so here goes.
Hopefully Eric “Godber” Laing will make it as we have gone out of our way to get an exclusive dressing room for him at Holyrood as he is still traumatised about using a communal shower after a recent bad “holiday” experience.
Another of their veterans, goalkeeper Craig Taylor, is now playing outfield after the team voted to take the gloves off him. I believe a similar vote has taken place in the QP dressing room and the result should be known soon (if you don’t want to know what happens look away now – “Safehands, bring a heavy jacket”).
Back in the fold is former Club captain
The ever smiling Beej is hopeful of making an appearance along with some of the youngsters who have been brought into the squad after Gav trawled the local
Hopefully we’ll see the Saintees back in the pub afterwards but that will depend on who amongst the team will have to head back early to Perth to work on Sunday night.
It has been quite a turn around this season for Queen’s as new Manager Andy “Boss” McNaught has installed some organisation to a previously shambolic squad.
This has meant more wins but less goals, and all out attack has been replaced with a more, some would sensible, defensive approach. Sadly this hasn’t pleased all the supporters with the Govanhill Branch no longer taking up their full allocation of match day tickets.
The team now has a new defensive formation of Galindo and Lennox, the two smallest centre backs we’ve had since Warwick Davis and Jimmy Krankie played together in the late 70’s, and it has proven to be a tactical masterstroke by the Boss and also meant that enigmatic veteran Joycey doesn’t go in the huff as often as he used to.
A change of keeper has been introduced as well as Andy Dick felt it was time to stop running about in the middle of the park as he needed a rest. Having seen some of our attempts at net minders over the last couple of years Andy couldn’t do any worse but unfortunately he has spent too much time on the sidelines through injury. This has meant that one of the locals from the nearby Circus (the one on QP Recs), the eccentric Safehands, has been called upon to do what he does best.
Wee Al, Arthur (occasionally) and 67 year old Crossers add a touch of experience to the squad and we still have the Neville Brothers making an appearance along with Shotgun Shimmons, Craig, Sean and Adam.
A revelation this season has been Dave with the long hair who has ten goals already and he can now last a whole game without passing out, throwing up or needing a litre of water every five minutes.
There have been a couple of new faces brought in with young midfielder Gary, with the hairstyle of a man at least thirty years older, finally getting his first goal in the last game. Up front we have Big Sebo a mountain of a man (or Big Unit as sportsmen are described nowadays for no discernible reason) who can take about five minutes to turn on the park but we’ve been well used to that over the years (eh, Joycey ?). Ross Dunbar is another newcomer and he has already made his mark with two goals recently.
Today’s JDC is certainly being looked forward to by the squad with the Boss particularly excited by the challenge.
As he said this week, “I can see this being a close competition but my money’s on the Peppers, mon the Peps !
[whispering takes place off mic]
Sorry, I meant to say my money’s on the Queen’s. Mon the QP !!!”
THE MAN HIMSELF
Who is the man whose name adorns the Cup (assuming Coasters have found the original) ?
Why do we have a tournament named after him ?
Who put the ball in the Hearts B net ?
Well it’s a long story but if you really want to know, John Drennan is one of our original centre forwards and a man feared by Scottish defences, and spinsters at ceilidh dances.
As everybody knows Queen’s Park F.C. were the forerunners of so many things in football like the passing game, crossbars, free kicks, Gypsy Creams at half times etc but John Drennan was also a footballing pioneer.
It was John who invented the famous “toe basher” which so many schoolboys use to good effect when battering the ball at hapless midget, sorry, small person goalies from close range. John later added a limping gesture to the “toe basher” to emphasise how hard the ball had been struck.
John is also a fashion pioneer and the phrase “got dressed in the dark” was first heard in his company.
Of course it is John’s exploits on the pitch which have made him the Legend that he undoubtedly is.
Who can possibly forget his hat trick against Taynuilt when he went out of his way to apologise to the opposition goalkeeper after outsmarting him with some mesmerising skill ?
Or the time he chipped the ball into the net at the Chaos Cup to complete a 4-1 victory over
Or his sporting decision to foul a
And there was another hat trick I think but the date and game escapes me.
John (centre) is mobbed by his adoring fans on a rare trip to the mainland
It’s the stuff of Legend and the reason he is known throughout the land by young, old and the mentally befuddled.
John, 93, is a recluse these days and whiles away his time looking after his flock of 300 Angora Sheep on the lovely
However there is good news as Sunday’s tournament coincides with the monthly ferry boat going to Auskerry with the delivery to the local Tesco. So, weather permitting, John should be in a fast charabanc and make an appearance at his own tournament for the first time.
This should make a lovely occasion even lovelier.
John's Uncle Obadiah and Auntie Mabel show off the latest addtion to the Drennan clan, young Masheen born in October 2012.